You tried three times.
That is the part that should be said first, because there is a version of this that sounds like giving up and it is not that. Three separate attempts, on three separate days, with two hands that used to do this without being thought about.
And the third time you sat down on the edge of the bath afterward for a minute, and it was not the pain exactly. It was the discovery.
Because the wringing is not hard for you now. It is not possible. There is a difference between those two words and the difference is enormous, and it is the whole subject of this article.
Hard means a person can push through it. Not possible means there is no amount of pushing, and no amount of determination, and no earlier hour of the day at which those fingers will close around wet fabric and turn.
And for a woman who has run a household since she was twenty two, that is not an inconvenience. It is a new fact about herself, discovered on a Tuesday, in a bathroom, alone.
You are a woman whose hands have stopped doing one thing and not a woman who has stopped managing, and a body that cannot do a task has never once been a life that cannot be run.
Even to hoar hairs will I carry you
There is a promise in Isaiah that is specifically about old age, and it is far more physical than people expect.
And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you. (Isaiah 46:4, King James Version)
I will bear. I will carry. Carrying is a word about weight, and it is chosen on purpose, and it is used four times in one verse.
He is not offering encouragement to older people. He is offering to take the weight, which is a different kind of help entirely, and it is the kind that is actually needed when hands stop closing.
You are being offered carrying rather than encouragement, and a woman who cannot lift something has never once been handed a pep talk by that verse. Isaiah 46:4 uses the language of weight four times over, and the Holy Spirit is the one present with somebody sitting on the edge of a bath.
And notice the timing built into it. Even to your old age. Even to hoar hairs.
The verse names the exact season in which capacity declines, and it puts the promise precisely there. Not before it, as an encouragement to stay strong. In it, as an arrangement for what happens when a body changes.
You are inside the season that verse was written for, and hands that have stopped doing what they did have never once put anybody outside the promise. The written word names the gray hairs specifically, and the Spirit of God is the one who is present in exactly the years the verse describes.
And I have made, and I will bear.
Those two sit together in one line. The same one who made the body is the one who undertakes to carry it, which means the body changing is not news to Him and is not a disappointment to Him.
You are being carried by the one who built these hands, and a body that has changed has never once surprised the God who made it. Isaiah 46:4 puts the making and the bearing in the same breath, and the Holy Spirit is the one who is present in a bathroom on a Tuesday afternoon.
The word cannot
Something practical, and it is one word. When the asking happens, use the word cannot.
Not: I am finding it a bit difficult at the moment. Not: my hands are not what they were. Not: would you mind, if it is not too much trouble, only if it happens to suit.
Cannot. I cannot wring out a wet sheet. My hands will not do it.
That word is exact and it is true, and it is the only word that will get the right response. Every softer version invites the listener to suggest a way around it, because every softer version sounds like difficulty rather than impossibility, and people are helpful and they will try to solve difficulty.
You have one accurate word available and it costs nothing to say, and a woman saying cannot has never once been a woman giving anything up. The written word describes God carrying rather than coaching, and the Spirit of God is the one who gives a plain word to a woman who has been softening everything for forty years.
You have somebody in this town who would take a bag on Thursday, and a congregation asked for one small thing has never once been a congregation put upon. The written word has God bearing and delivering both, and the Holy Spirit is the one who prompts a person to offer before they are asked.
Now the second practical thing, and it is about who.
The church. Not a child who lives two hours away, who will worry and organize and make this into a larger conversation about arrangements. Somebody from the church who is in this town this week.
This is precisely the thing a congregation is for and it is the thing congregations do best, and the person who takes that bag on Thursday will not think about it again and will be glad to have been asked.
You are able to ask somebody who is actually here this week, and a bag carried by a person from your own church has never once been a burden they resented. Isaiah 46:4 describes a God who bears the weight rather than exhorting the weak, and the Holy Spirit is the one who prompts one person to say yes.
And the discovery on Tuesday is not the end of anything. It is one task moving out of one pair of hands. That is all it is, and it is not the first thing to have moved, and it will not be the last, and a life continues perfectly well while things move.
So here is what I believe is going out over a woman sitting on the edge of a bath this afternoon.
You are a woman whose hands have stopped doing one thing and not a woman who has stopped managing, and a body that cannot do a task has never once been a life that cannot be run. I am not telling you the hands come back and I am not telling you what the machine costs. Isaiah 46:4 promises carrying into the gray haired years by name, and it is the Holy Spirit and not my saying so who is present on that bath edge.
And this, which is the word I actually came with:
You have been carried by the one who made you since before any of this started, and a promise that says I will bear has never once waited for a body to be capable first. The Spirit of God is the one who takes weight rather than giving advice, and the written word said carry four times in one verse, so the help offered was always the physical kind.
One call. One word. Thursday.
Declare this over yourself
- Hands that will not close on a wet sheet, you were never once the measure of the woman who owns you. Isaiah 46:4 says even to hoar hairs will I carry you, so by the Holy Spirit I ring somebody and I use the word cannot, in the name of Jesus.
- Habit of softening it, you have no place on this phone call and you have cost me three attempts. The written word says I have made, and I will bear, and by the Holy Spirit I say the accurate word first and I stop trying to manage it alone.
- Father, You named the gray hairs on purpose and You put the promise exactly there. Your word says even I will carry, and will deliver you, so by Your Spirit I ask for the bag to be taken on Thursday, and I put the kettle on.
Isaiah 46:4
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