I Have Come To The End Of It

You have been running on the assumption that this settles.

That is how the last seven weeks have been survived. Not by managing, exactly. By the expectation that at some point the thing eases, or a solution arrives, or the body adjusts, and that until then you keep going because keeping going is what is available.

And this week that assumption came apart.

Not dramatically. There was a moment, probably on a weekday evening, doing a completely ordinary part of this, where something in you said quite calmly: I have reached the end of this.

And then you carried on doing it anyway, because there was nothing else to do with that information.

So that is where this article starts, and I want to be careful and honest about it, because it is a serious place and it deserves plain speech.

That sentence was not weakness arriving. It was information, and it was accurate, and accurate information about a load is the single most useful thing a man can have.

You are a man who has reached the end of what he can carry and not a man who has failed to carry it, and a load that is too heavy has never once been a judgment on the one under it.

The thing that thou doest is not good

There is a scene where Moses is doing everything himself and his father in law watches for a day and then says something remarkably direct.

Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone. (Exodus 18:18, King James Version)

This thing is too heavy for thee.

Said to Moses. Not to a weak man, not to somebody making excuses, not to a person looking for a way out. Said to the one man in the book who had the most obvious right to say he could handle anything.

And Jethro says it as a plain observation, with no apology and no cushioning, and Moses does not argue with him.

You are being told the same thing that was said to Moses, and a load named as too heavy has never once been an insult to the man who was under it. The Holy Spirit is the one present with somebody who reached the end on a weekday evening, and Exodus 18:18 says this thing is too heavy for thee to the strongest man in the room.

Now notice the reason Jethro gives, because it is not about Moses being tired.

Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee. He gives two reasons and the second one is the household. The arrangement is not only costing the man. It is costing everybody depending on him, and it is doing it invisibly and continuously.

You are not the only person paying for this arrangement, and a man wearing through has never once been a private matter contained in one body. The written word names the people with him in the same breath as the man himself, and the Spirit of God is the one who shows a household what an arrangement is actually costing it.

And then the last clause: thou art not able to perform it thyself alone.

Not able. Flatly. No qualification. And nowhere in the chapter is Moses rebuked for having tried, and nowhere is he told to pray about his capacity, and nowhere is the not being able treated as something to fix in himself.

You are not able to do this alone and that is a statement about arithmetic, and a man being told he cannot do something by himself has never once been a man being told he is inadequate. The Holy Spirit is the one who keeps a limit from turning into a verdict, and Exodus 18:18 states the limit as a fact and moves straight to a plan.

Say it before something breaks

Something practical, and it is about timing rather than about the words.

The sentence I have reached the end of this can be said in two very different situations, and they produce completely different outcomes.

It can be said now, in an ordinary voice, on an ordinary evening, before anything has gone wrong. Or it can be said later, after something has actually broken, when it will be said loudly or not at all.

Said now, it is information. Said later, it is a crisis, and a crisis costs everybody far more and it takes much longer to recover from.

You have a window this week to say a true thing calmly, and a sentence spoken before anything breaks has never once been the same sentence spoken after. The written word has Jethro speaking on the second day rather than after a collapse, and the Spirit of God is the one who prompts a man to speak while it is still early.

And the second practical thing: name one specific thing.

I have reached the end of this is true and it is not actionable on its own. The people who hear it will want to help and will not know what to do, and a week later nothing will have changed and it will be harder to say again.

So say the sentence and then name one thing. The wringing. The trip on Saturday. The two loads on a Thursday. One item, handed to one person, with a name on it.

You are able to hand over one named thing tonight, and a specific request has never once been a heavier thing to make than a general one. The Holy Spirit is the one who gives a man the specific sentence rather than only the general one, and Exodus 18:18 is followed immediately by a plan rather than by sympathy.

And if a limit has been reached in a way that is more than tiredness, if sleep has stopped or the days have gone flat or there is a thought in the room that does not belong to laundry at all, then this article is too small for that and I will not pretend otherwise. Tell a doctor, or a counselor, or a pastor you trust, and in the United States the 988 crisis line answers day and night. That is not an overreaction. It is the same instruction Jethro gave, which is to get somebody qualified in alongside you.