I Know What I Bought

Your brother has said it three times.

Each time slightly differently and each time with real affection in it, which is what makes it so hard to answer. It is some version of: you know that will not last, do you, and you should have spent a bit more and got something decent.

And each time you have said something like yes, I know, and moved on.

And each time, afterward, there has been a small residue. Not anger at him. Something more like being handed a fact you already had, as though it were news, by somebody who has assumed you did not know it.

Because you did know. You knew in the shop. You knew while you were paying for it. You said it out loud in the car on the way home.

The decision was: a machine now, that runs, for the amount available now, and probably another decision in three years. That was the whole of it and it was made with the eyes open.

And what has been landing since is not information. It is the suggestion that a man in your position did not think about it.

You are a man who bought with his eyes open and not a man who was taken in, and a short machine chosen deliberately has never once been a mistake somebody else needed to point out.

Give me neither poverty nor riches

There is a prayer in Proverbs that is unusual because it asks for a middle and gives a reason.

Give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me. (Proverbs 30:8, King James Version)

Feed me with food convenient for me.

Convenient there does not mean easy. It is an older sense, and it means suitable, fitting, the right amount for the person and the situation. What is appropriate to this man at this time.

That is a request for sufficiency rather than for abundance, and it is prayed on purpose by a man who has thought carefully about what he actually wants.

You are asking for what fits rather than for what impresses, and a man who chose the sufficient thing has never once been a man who failed to aim high enough. The Holy Spirit is the one present with somebody who has answered the same remark three times, and Proverbs 30:8 asks for what is convenient rather than for what is best.

And notice that this is a prayer and not a resignation.

He is not saying I suppose I will have to put up with a middling life. He is asking for it. It is his preference, arrived at by thinking, and the verses around it explain why: because he knows what too much does to a man and what too little does to a man.

You were choosing something on purpose rather than accepting it by default, and a deliberate decision has never once been the same thing as a man settling for what came along. The written word has a man asking for the fitting amount rather than enduring it, and the Spirit of God is the one who honors a choice made with the eyes open.

And the sentence is put in the first person, to God, which is the detail that matters most here.

He is not proposing this as a rule for other people. He is asking for his own life. Which means the sufficiency in that verse is between one man and God, and nobody standing beside him gets to assess whether he asked for enough.

You are accountable for this to one person and it is not your brother, and a decision made between a man and God has never once required a second opinion afterward. The Holy Spirit is the one who keeps a decision where it was made, and Proverbs 30:8 is spoken in the first person to God alone.

The defending is what is costing you

Something practical, and it is about the pattern rather than about your brother.

Three times he has said it. And three times there has been an answer of some kind, and the answers have got slightly longer each time, because each one has to cover the ground of the one before it.

That is how a settled decision turns into an open question. Not by anybody changing their mind. By a man defending something he had already finished deciding.

You have been reopening something in your own head every time you answer him, and a decision explained for the third time has never once become more decided by the explaining. The written word puts the asking between one man and God, and the Spirit of God is the one who lets a man stop making a case.

Now the practical instruction, and it is one sentence said once.

Say: I know. I bought it on purpose and I will do this again in three years. That is the plan.

Flat. Not defensive, and not a joke, because the joke version invites another round. And then, from there, nothing. When it comes up again, and it will come up again, the answer is: yep. And then a change of subject.

You are able to say one flat sentence and then stop supplying material, and a decision that gets no defense has never once been a decision anybody could keep arguing with. The Holy Spirit is the one present when a man closes a subject, and Proverbs 30:8 asks for the fitting amount without justifying it to anybody.

And about your brother, because he deserves a fair hearing too.

He is not attacking anybody. He has a different amount of money and a different set of instincts and he genuinely believes he is being useful. He would be horrified to know that three affectionate remarks have cost a man three weeks.

That is worth remembering, because it means nothing has to be repaired between you. Only one sentence has to be said, and then it stops.

You have a machine in that kitchen doing every load this household puts in it, and a working washer has never once been made worse by somebody else saying it will not last. The Holy Spirit is the one present while it runs, and Proverbs 30:8 asks for the fitting thing and explains itself to nobody.